My journey began over 60 years ago, with my incarnation into this world. My chosen family for this incarnation (we all chose) was not rich in wealth, but we had love. The world at this time was getting ready to start a new war and turning away from spirituality. In fact, for about the next 50 years, I was slowly programmed to ignore most things spiritual.
My young life was spent as most at the time, trying to find my place in society even as society tried to force my moves. Spirituality was very low key. My mother and other family occasionally took me to various church events, socials and services, but the programs for young children were more geared to babysitting than knowledge. My father professed a dislike of all things spiritual.
In my mid teens I spent some time going to my friends churches (all variants of Christianity) searching for the one that worked for me. Didn’t find it. I remember night time prayers and dinner prayers, as a child, but it was just words without meaning. I thought of God and Jesus from time to time, but never really focused on learning about the message. There was so much noise associated with the various churches, that it left me empty and incomplete.
I felt (knew) there was more than just our existence, but I couldn’t connect or find information to begin to understand anything outside of day to day life.
I remember (early elementary school years) asking questions about how society was structured that was different than was taught in school history or church. Why was it like that? Why do we have war? Why do we have inflation? Why do pay taxes? Why does God allow people to be killed? I got a variety of obfuscations, but never any answer that could help me understand or find more information.
Eventually I succumbed to the “will” of society and began to try to make some headway as a productive adult. In the back of my mind was always the question of God and the discontinuity of life on this planet vs Biblical teachings, history and my real experiences.
I had an adventure in the US Military (NAVY) and immediately determined that it was not a career for me. When religious discussions came up, I tried to keep an open mind, but always felt separate from the discussion and God. I usually told people that If God wanted me, He could tap on my shoulder and I would try to help out.
It turned out that those shoulder taps were happening quite a bit, but my societal programming was blocking me from feeling it.
I got married, raised a family, progressed through various careers, mostly electronics oriented, moved around the country a bit. Through all of this I went through depressions and joy, poverty and semi-wealth, but never pursued any spiritual direction.
As I moved up the ladder in one of my first electronics positions, I began to drink to deal with work stress. This progressed and eventually became a problem as I became a binge drinker. I, on rare occasions, would stop for weeks or months at a time, but when I resumed it was often to excess.
About ten years ago, depression set in big time. I tried to be successful and happy but always felt down and out. Watching the world slowly slipping into madness didn’t help much. I felt alone, confused and unmotivated.
My drinking increased and I began to have health problems. I also began to think about ending it all.
Somewhere about this time I became interested in past lives and near death experiences. My wife suggested I read Richard Bach’s Illusions. Could this hold the key?
Things came to a head about four years ago, during a very intense month of self-destructive ideation and drinking.
I ended up on a cross country trip by myself, searching for an answer. This nearly ended my marriage and my life, but after a time I was able to feel the tapping on my shoulder and understand that I was never alone and that help was there for the asking.
I began to study spirituality more fully with the help of friends, counselors and Spirit, for which I am eternally grateful. I learned to meditate and balance myself and my energy centers. I found a path back to myself and The Creator.
That was three or so years ago, and I am now very happy with where I am and who I am. I am still seeking but without the desperation that I had felt before. Each new lesson brings me closer to the Creator and my mission.
Things that I have learned along the way?
I am responsible for every single thing that I experience and feel. If I want to feel terrible, it is as easy a snapping my fingers. If I want to feel joy and happiness, it is as easy as blinking my eyes. I am connected to the world by spiritual energy and to everything in Creation. That energy permeates to the very core of our bodies and the universe around us.
This life that I have lived, is not my first or my last. The world I live in is a Spiritual school for learning/teaching about the Creator. I am a caretaker of the planet. My mission is to aid the Earth and her inhabitants (including the plants and animals) in adjusting to the coming changes that go with our Spiritual growth. I still do not know all of the tasks associated with this mission, but they always make themselves known when I need to know them. I trust the Creator to guide me and keep things interesting. The old Chinese curse is not really a curse. It is a gift from the Creator to remind us to look at each new thing with a light and open heart and to spread Love and Light with our own special gifts.
I hope that I have provided a springboard for your own adventure into the known/unknown. There is a lot to seek and infinity to find.
As I get more taps on my shoulder, I will share more of this journey and hope that it may help someone in their own seeking. Take only what resonates with you, leave the rest. It is for someone else.
In the Love and the Light of the One Infinite Creator, Blessings to you.
The Creator and Me 